The Power of Listening

Coincidentally, “listening” has been the sermon theme for the past couple of weeks at my church. I’ll leave it to your resourcefulness to determine why listening
has a spiritual significance…

Anyone who has heard me speak or is reading my blogs knows one of my favorite bits of advice is to “be interested, not interesting!” Being able to listen well is a conduit to being able to communicate effectively.

A Strong Leader or Sales Professional is a Good Listener

There are lots of books on the power of listening, but I discovered a blog entitled Leadership & the Power of Listening by Mike Myatt, CEO of N2Growth. “The best leaders are proactive, strategic, and intuitive listeners. They recognize knowledge and wisdom are not gained by talking, but by listening.” They have the uncanny ability to read between the lines and understand what is not said.

The first rule in communication is to seek understanding before seeking to be understood. Communication is not a one-way street. Broadcasting your message ad nauseum will not result in a meaningful conversation, and could very well turn out to be a train wreck in the making. Good leaders must remember that it is impossible to stick your foot in your mouth when it’s closed! I’m sure you can name a few people who are noted for speaking before thinking and then being ridiculed.

Let me share a couple of personal examples.

• A couple of years ago I went to a meeting I had scheduled for a client representative to meet a business prospect. The meeting, in my opinion, was unsuccessful. Why? My client did not listen to the prospect or ask questions to understand how he could provide the appropriate services. He unloaded from A to Z with everything he could do for the prospect. His sales pitch was meticulous and well-rehearsed, but it was much too much. He never inquired about the pain so that he could focus on providing a solution. I ask you: How many times have you had to endure listening to a smorgasbord of services available? What do you do? Do you engage in the conversation or do you just tune out?

• And now for a recent example. I made a single statement of fact to someone. That person immediately interpreted the statement in her way without getting the details, and proceeded to tell me what I should do. Though her intention was good, she communicated without knowledge of the circumstances. Her advice was not applicable to the situation, thus causing embarrassment and a waste of time.

6 Tips That Will Help You to Become a Better Listener

1. It’s not about you:  Stop worrying about what you’re going to say and focus on what’s being said. Listen to be challenged and to learn something new.

2. You should never be too busy to listen:  Anyone can add value to your world if you’re willing to listen. Expand your sphere of influence and learn from those with different perspectives and experiences.

3. Listen to non-verbals: People say as much (if not more) with their actions, inactions, body language, and facial expressions as they do with their verbal communications.

4. Listen for opportunity: Listening is about discovery, and discovery can not only impact the present, but it can also influence the future.

5. Let listening be your calling card: One of the best compliments you can be paid is to be known as a good listener. Listening demonstrates that you respect others, and is the first step in building trust and rapport.

6. Recognize the contributions of others: If you glean benefits from listening to someone, thank them. Few things go as far in building good will as recognizing others.

Let me go one step further in today’s world of social media. Like it or not, it is part of our lives. The rules that apply to effective communicating and listening should be applied in the way you use social media. I just saw a real feel-good movie – “Chef”. It epitomizes the power of reacting through social media, Twitter in this case.

My Real Life Example of a Good Listener

The other day I told my good friend that June’s focus is the Power of Listening. She enthusiastically shared with me her perspectives about listening and how it has helped her to be successful in her business. Given the fact that my friend is a very private person, I am thrilled that she has allowed me to pass on some of her secrets to you.

Deborah Bauer is the President/Founder of Drake Commercial Group, a very successful commercial real estate broker and developer. Most people who know Deborah would consider her to be a calm and well-mannered professional. She always thinks before she acts or reacts to situations. She would rarely be described as the central attraction at an event. And why? Because that’s not where she wants to be. Deborah is busy listening to others. Lending an ear is far more important to her than voicing an opinion. She has honed the art of listening and it has proven to be one of the primary reasons she is recognized as a highly successful real estate broker. In her competitive world of real estate, she understands that she can’t convince buyers to buy, but rather she must discover what they want and then set out to fulfill their wishes.