This is my favorite power, because it is what I’m all about. In case you did not see my Linda’s Connection Corner, I quoted a suggestion from a young lady, and I am going to reply to her and the many others who are struggling on how to make networking work for them. First of all, in part here is her email message:

“… it would be very interesting to hear the advice you have for younger(ish!) professionals who are trying to find their way into the seemingly established relationships of the networking world. Like what experiences you had and who or what helped you became the relationship queen that you are. While I diligently try my best, at times it can feel like a really slow paced uphill jog, against the wind!”

It’s certainly no secret that I am not fond of the traditional understanding of networking. Many people think networking is a necessary business activity in which one must attend events to collect business cards, with the goal of meeting a certain number of people, in a short period of time. It can be conceived as a selfish or disingenuous activity to try to meet people who simply serve as a means to some self-centered end goal.

Should you avoid networking events? No, but go with the right frame of mind. Here are some tips that I personally suggest should be followed in order to turn “networking” into “connecting”:

    • Be selective about the events you attend. You don’t need to go to every single one. We all know people who don’t miss a networking opportunity. Let’s analyze that professional networking type by observing them. How are they working the room? How many cards are they passing out? Are they talking or are they listening? Where do you generally find them posted in order to get to as many people as possible? Are they always in a “sales” mode? You will discover that this kind of person will soon repel people rather than attract people. Don’t be one of them, and for heaven’s sake, avoid them! (A hint – At a breakfast event, they will be roosting near the coffee and at an after-work event near the bar.)
    • Go with only one purpose in mind – to learn about others rather than to tell others about you. Offer to go an extra step for others. That might mean introducing them to someone you know that could help them, offering to send them information that would be meaningful, and the list goes on. You won’t be able to do that unless you ask questions and listen. As I say over and over again, “Be interested, not interesting.”
    • It’s always nice to have a general idea of who will be attending the networking event. That then allows you to better plan. I like to be able to make it my mission to meet and visit with at least two people I know will be attending. And prepare yourself. Do a little research on the person(s) you would like to meet so that you can ask meaningful questions about them and/or their business. You will make a lasting impression by doing so.
    • If you meet two worthwhile people, you’ve accomplished your mission. Now follow-up with an immediate “so nice to meet you” email including something more personalized in the message.
    • Continue to drip interesting tid-bits of information to the individuals in order to build relationships. Inevitably the opportunity will arise that you can offer a solution to an issue which can then turn a relationship into business.
    • ALWAYS REMEMBER – Patience is everything. Nobody likes to be sold to!!

00ca4c6Now I’d like to share with you my recent connection. I vaguely knew Sybel Lopez-Pici through the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO). A couple of months ago, she was the featured volunteer and was able to speak very briefly at a lunch meeting. I liked her – what she had to say and her demeanor. My goal was to meet her and develop a relationship. I called Sybel and told her I wanted to get to know her; let’s have lunch. I think she was a bit surprised by my candor, but it was sincere. During that time we spent over lunch, a very definite relationship evolved. There was trust and openness. I know that Sybel and I will continue to grow our relationship and that we will most certainly prosper together. It’s a beautiful experience when it happens like this.

My challenge to you is to do what I did with Sybel. Who do you want to know better? Call him/her and let them know, just as I did with Sybel. You have no agenda other than to get acquainted with this person and build a friendship. Let me know how it goes!