Most people probably think of networking and connecting as being interchangeable, but there is a profound difference. To put it bluntly, networking will yield you a drawer full of business cards and connecting will yield you some meaningful relationships. That said, you can understand why I wince when referred to as the queen of networking.
At a conference years ago we were challenged to see who could gather the most business cards. It was all about meeting as many people as possible in a specified period of time. I found the activity quite offensive, and knew immediately if that was the secret to achieving success, I was not going to amount to much in life. That exercise might be a bit extreme, but I’m sure most of us have been to events where we have received a pocketful of cards, and can’t recall who gave them to us.
There are multiple opportunities to attend networking events. It is inevitable you’ll encounter folks who are schmoozing and trying to sell themselves to as many people as possible. Often the attack is cold and impersonal. It’s all about them and their business, trying to convince you that what they have to sell is what you absolutely must have. Can you think of a few people like this? How about those who may be selling health products, or insurance, or phones, or financial services, or real estate, or beauty products, or greeting cards, or .., or .., or ..?
Here are some basic ways you can become a more successful connector in life:
- Find ways to help others. Listen carefully to what they say. You will always find some way to help – offer to open a door for them or make a call or send them information of value.
- Be warm and friendly. Smile and maintain good eye contact. Nod showing agreement or understanding. Show empathy if appropriate.
- As I say time and again be interested, not interesting. People love to talk with those who will listen and actually seem to care about what they have to say.
- Keep the focus on them. You’re now in the process of “bonding” even though they know very little about you. However, your time will come, and due to your knowledge of them, you will be far better prepared to posture yourself when describing what you do.
- Follow-up after meeting people. Email message are very appropriate and will officially connect you electronically. Then you can move suitably forward suggesting lunch, coffee, or a visit to the office.
You may only connect with 2-3 people whereas a hard-core networker may have collected 25-30 business cards in the same period of time. The difference? You have just begun 2-3 quality relationships that can multiply 10-fold and the networker has a bunch of potentially worthless cards.
Now I will reveal two individuals who have displayed that warm fuzzy feeling for me which encourages me to go the extra step to help them and others.
- Dr. Paula Vogel, Skin Specialists of San Antonio: I met Paula in a Pilates class. It was several weeks before I discovered she was a dermatologist. In other words, we bonded as friends before I became her patient. Coincidentally, I had been strongly encouraged by my anesthetist to have a couple of spots checked for skin cancer, so it was quite fortuitous to discover Paula specialized in Mohs cancer surgery. The weekend following the surgeries, she came by my home twice to check on me and to show me how to dress the areas. Needless to say, I have highly recommended her services to many of my friends.
- Detective Adam Zeldes: Recently I was a victim of a hit-and-run collision. A vague impression of the perpetrator’s license plate was left on my fender, causing me to contact the San Antonio Police Department. Detective Zeldes was assigned my case. After much effort, he was able to identify the driver who hit me. I did send his boss, Police Chief McManus, a letter lauding the find work of Detective Zeldes. Once we were done with our “official” business he told me that I knew his wife, Barbie Scharf Zeldes. We could then bond on a different level. A few days later I was with Dr. Evan and Linda Ratner, Impact Urgent Care, and discovered they are best friends with Adam and Barbie Zeldes. They brought Adam to the next Healthcare Think Tank luncheon where we got to meet face-to-face. This helped in creating a closer bond between the Ratners and me. I then set up a meeting to introduce them to a client which went extremely well. I have every confidence that meeting will result into a strong relationship, and potentially business for both parties.
I can assure you that these two examples will continue to benefit multiple parties well beyond my involvement. Making meaningful connections can occur in so many different ways, and ultimately cause a powerful domino effect.
Great blog, Linda! Very useful tips that I will use in my business.
Thank you,
Ellie
Thanks, Ellie! I really appreciate your comments!!
Take care,
Linda
Loved the blog. It really drove home your point about making meaningful connections. And I agree!!!
Awesome post, Linda! You simplified networking and connecting so well! Life is short and the connections are so important for all of us on first a personal level and then if we’re lucky also on a professional level! Just seeing how one person’s connection to you widen after a hit and run accident shows that you follow these rules well! Thank you